Journal entries
01/04/2016
I can't sleep for more than an hour before my hips start to throb. I want to cry sometimes from the pain. I bought a snoogle, but it didn't help. My heart feels like it is going to give up. The palpitations are out of control, and make me so weak. I'm looking forward to seeing the cardiologist. I don't want to complain to anyone though because I wanted this baby more than anything. Just feeling a bit sad and worried.
01/18/2016
I'm 19 weeks pregnant now. Baby boy is doing well. My hips are killing me at night still, but it's all worth it. It's still weird to say I'm pregnant. I tried for so many years. I started thinking I would never be the pregnant one.
01/22/2016
Today I hit 20 weeks. I'm officially half way there! Woohoo!
01/28/2016
I have been avoiding looking up the Zika virus because of where I've been in the last 5 months. Tonight it was all over the news and headlines, so I looked up the countries. The first one listed was Barbados, then all the other places I went on my cruise in December (Haiti, Jamaica, Cozumel, Grand Cayman). Yikes!
01/29/2016
I'm 21 weeks today, and I haven't registered or thought about the nursery decor. The thought of clutter just gets to me, so I'm trying to be a minimalist. It's making it really hard though because I'm a first time mom and have no idea what I even need. If you ask 10 moms what they thought were necessities for their baby, you would get 10 different answers.
Oh my gosh I can feel and see the baby moving for the first time ever!! It's so amazing!! I'm glad I'm at home because I'm giggling and crying at the same time. What a wonderful feeling. I have been patiently waiting because I know some people can feel the baby earlier. What a freaking miracle! I better start cracking on the nursery theme, asap.
02/14/2016
Today we went to an all day birth class. It was 8 hours and full of great information. It changed our whole thinking!! My husband was adamant about a hospital birth, and basically doing everything the way big medical facilities tell you to do things. Now he and I are on the same page and want to look for a birthing center. The class discussed the top ten procedures after birth: Pitocin, epidurals, delayed cord clamping, vaccines, breast feeding, and so on. It was the most enlightening, amazing experience for us. There's no wrong or right way. It's all personal preference, but we completely changed our way of thinking about birth.
They even discussed the benefits of encapsulating the placenta, which is so interesting. I am seriously on a high from this class.
02/15/2016
I'm considering a doula because I want to do a natural birth, but not sure yet. I am afraid of the epidural side effects, not feeling my legs, or pushing. I know what I want, but I'm also afraid of the pain, so who knows. Game time decision.
02/18/2016
A few thoughts today:
Aches and pains - I have hip pain at night that runs down the side of both thighs and causes my legs to go numb, groin pain like I was kicked in the crotch (but only the left side), heartburn like I drank acid and fat thighs that rub together like they're trying to start a fire. The beautiful side of pregnancy.
Sex life - We went from almost every day, to now every other day. Sometimes we go two days, but then I feel weird and disconnected. The "experts" say one of the top 5 needs of a man and a woman is intimacy. Women say intimacy is TALKING. Men say intimacy is SEX. We both want our needs to be met, and feel neglected by our partners when they aren't. Although it's tiring sometimes to have sex, it's also tiring for men to talk as much as we want to. I don't want my husband to feel like it's all about me and baby now, so keeping up the intimacy is so important. I believe it's husband and wife first, then kids.
Happy marriage = Happy kids = Happy family
Doctors appointments - I just got back from the high-risk doctor, and I've been crying all morning.
First, I want to tell you the cardiologist appointment on Tuesday went okay. Mechanically my heart has extra beats, but structurally my heart looks healthy. My cardiologist said he doesn't want to put me on any medication unless I start passing out, because it means I'll most likely be on the medication for the rest of my life. It may get worse the further along I get, but should go back to normal after baby is born. God willing. He said it is due to the fluctuating hormones in pregnancy.
I had two days of bliss until I went to the high-risk doctor this morning. All of a sudden they are concerned about me having Zika. I had an hour long ultrasound. I am being tested for Zika virus now, so I had to give blood for them to send to the CDC. They grilled me on where I went, what I did, if I remember any bug bites, or if I had any symptoms. Doctor said we are "strictly forbidden from having any kind of sex" until I give birth, unless we use condoms. I think they are overreacting, to say the least. If my husband or I had Zika, we would have already passed it to each other. That's just not going to happen, lady.
The worst part is that she told me my baby boy has pyelectasis, which is fluid build up in his kidneys. May be a sign of something serious (like Down syndrome), cause kidney damage, or clear up. That's a huge range of what ifs! My heart is hurting at the thought of my little baby having anything wrong. I feel so terrible wanting a baby so bad if he is born with something wrong that reduces his quality of life. I am a mess right now. I can barely see what I'm typing on my phone. I won't know about Zika for a few weeks, and I won't know about pyelectasis until he is born.
03/02/2016
Went to a chiropractor for my first adjustment, ever! I am so glad I went. I felt so much better after leaving. I was breathing really shallow and having severe groin and hip pain, and when I left I noticed a huge difference in the pain. My breathing is deeper again too! Hoping it helps me sleep better at night!! Your body changes so much during pregnancy. I never thought about how out of alignment the pelvis and hips get. It makes sense why I've been having pain. I have two pinched nerves!
Things are going great! I'm excited to meet this little boy dancing and growing in my belly. I'm also nervous about the delivery part, but that's normal I'm sure. I still look down sometimes and can't believe I'm pregnant.
03/09/2016
The Business of Being Born documentaries. I just binge watched all 4. So good!
03/22/2016
I did the glucose tolerance test yesterday and passed with flying colors. My blood pressure looks great still, 119/67 as of yesterday. Everything is good. The doctor was concerned about the weight at first, because it came on so rapid, but it slows down after you stop taking all that medication. I'm serious when I say I could not get full in the first trimester. It didn't matter what or how much I ate. I was always hungry. And for some weird reason, I craved Taco Bell tacos. I don't know what could possibly be in them that I needed. Now that I'm 7 months pregnant, I've only gained a total of 25 pounds. It slows down.
I'm feeling wonderful. I have so much energy in the third trimester. I'm nesting and I love it. Baby is growing perfect and healthy. I can't wait to meet him, but I'm enjoying being pregnant still. I don't have any complications, but I do have hip and groin pain. Very common. I'm having Braxton hicks contractions as well, but I didn't realize it. The doctor had to point them out. The belly just gets really tight. So all in all, things are going great!
03/23/2016
Heart is nice and steady. Seeing the cardiologist, and hearing him say I'm fine, was all I really needed to know. Working from home and avoiding the hour plus commute on both ends is also helpful. No back pain, but I have hip and groin pain, which is pretty common in pregnancy. The chiropractor helps for sure. Plus, I feel like he is helping to get/keep my hips and pelvis in alignment, which hopefully will help with birth.
03/28/2016
Baby showers - What do you do with the presents that are mailed to you? Do you bring them to the shower or leave them at home? Does it matter if the person who mailed the gift will be attending your shower?