In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). When you hear a doctor say those words, your heart drops. What does it mean? What will it cost? Is it dangerous? My head was spinning after the doctor told us we needed IVF. I couldn't remember everything he said, because I couldn't get over the fact that we were here. Three years of trying to conceive and we end up needing IVF. Had we known, we could have gone straight to IVF to begin with, but no one could have predicted this. After all, having a baby is "easy," right?
After the appointment, I went straight home and started researching IVF. I honestly didn't think I could go through with it. I was looking for all the worst case scenarios and side effects to make my decision easier.
- I found out the success rate for my age and situation was a little over 60%. Much better than the 20% for IUIs, but still not guaranteed.
- The cost was anywhere from $7,500-$34,000, depending on what was included and where you went for treatment.
- Medication for IVF is thousands of dollars. My insurance didn't cover IVF; not even the labs or blood work.
- The medication has to be injected multiple times a day, and the needles are huge.
- You have to be monitored to prevent ovarian hyperstimulation, which could be life threatening.
The list goes on and on, so I shut my computer and went to bed discouraged. I cried to my husband and said it was time to move on. My book wasn't meant to have this chapter.
Of course the desire doesn't go away that easily, so I continued to research for several weeks. Anyone struggling to have a baby understands the extreme highs and lows you go through. One day you're certain you're pregnant, and you're dreaming of how you're going to tell your partner, your friends, your parents. You visualize the announcement on social media. You start thinking about the gender reveal, the nursery, the holidays... Then you start your period, and your world crumbles. You cry for a day. You're depressed for a week. Then, you tell yourself you're about to ovulate, and this, THIS is your month! It's gotta be! The odds are in your favor. The cycle continues, and you see your baby slipping further and further away because you're not getting any younger. It's hard. It's lonely. It's awful! And if one more person tells you to just get drunk and have lots of sex, you're going to snap!